After a full week of recovery I am almost, but not quite back to normal. A seemingly harmless change of hair colour translated into a severe allergic reaction including my entire head swelling, a visit to the ER, headaches, body aches and not being able to go to work. Not only was this a physical journey but an emotional one.
I care about the way I look! Is that because I was born with an ego, I suppose but I know that my ego is part of who I am and I don't need to transcend my ego to reach Self-Realization. The ego can play tricks on our minds but we must learn to redirect the ego back to our true nature. I am aware that I am aware! I am joyful that I am awake! Pratabhijna is the splendor of Self-Recognition, when the individual self, realizes the Universal Self, and that can be recognized in this moment, right now!
Sicknesses, injuries, traumatic experiences, loss at situations in which we can become cloaked, isolated, depressed and it leads to a feeling of disconnect. That feeling has haunted me for the last week but as I heal and move forward instead of just looking at this experience as horrible, I am looking at how it connects me back to the big picture again. What have I learned about myself? What work do I need to do to stay connected? Every experience is a learning opportunity and I am taking my time to figure out how I will expand my own consciousness from this particular experience.
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