Your Heart has the Answer

Certain decisions are easy to make, like do you want to smoke, get high, jump off a bridge, some are harder, do you want end a relationship with a friend, or partner, quit your job? (maybe that is easy sometimes).  Once we make a decision then we have to learn to let go of our attachments and move on.  Sometimes the strings to those attachments are attached directly into your heart and so when you cut them there is heartache and discomfort. 

So how do we welcome the end of good things or great things? 

I'm closing my business down after almost 7 years and it will be hard to let it go since there is a strong attachment to it.  In fact ,I teetered in the beginning whether or not I should continue or close.  Was it the right time to make that decision, what will happen to my students, so many questions and things to contemplate, so not an easy decision to make. 

Then, like a smack in the face, I hear my yoga teacher saying "Open to Grace, soften, feel..."  And, instantly the fear dissolves and I receive a clear message that yes indeed this is a good thing.  Confirmation from my higher Self.  An overwhelming sense of gratitude fills my heart and soul.  Wow, I'm so thankful to be awake, so that I don't feel alone and I trust myself.  I'm so grateful to have found a yoga practice that has taught and prepared to make good decisions, welcome endings, step into the flow and be embraced by grace.

I want to share a technique that I learned many years ago that has worked for me every time I have to make a decision.  I guess you could call think of it as having an important conversation with your higher Self.  The first time I used it, it actually scared the crap out of myself because it was so clear and powerful.  There was no question in my mind whether or not I was getting the answer to my question.  Let me warn you before you attempt this technique you will get the truth, if you like it or not.

The first time I used this technique was because I meet this really great guy and only 2 days after we hit it off something crappy, stupid and self induced happened, he got a DUI charge.  As soon as he told me I broke it off right away, I didn't want to go there with him, however, some friends convinced me to give him a chance, that he just made a mistake, so I did.  The foreshadowing of what was to follow should be no surprise here. 

I gave him another chance and shortly after the chaos began!  I just left a 7 year long relationship and now I'm thinking what the hell, how did I get myself involved in all this chaos again.  The craziness went on for a few months as I was trying to sort through the love-at-first sight feelings and I was so pissed at the DUI, I wanted to ream this guy out!  But still I wasn't willing to welcome the ending so I hung on and duked it out, like a tough girl. 

One morning, I slipped into the bathtub, closed my eyes and took some deep breaths.  I got very still, quiet and I turned inside.  Once I was as relaxed as I could be, I imagined a tiny door on my heart.  I visualized myself knocking on this door that looked like the door Snow White knocked on when she meet the 7 dwarfs.  When the door opens I was welcomed by this warm, soft pink light into this magical space.  I could see a table and two chairs from the top of this tiny little spiral staircase.  I made my way down and sat at the table.  It felt like I was about to meet someone really important and I was.

There wasn't a figure or person that actually appeared to sit across from me but I knew it was time to present my question to my heart.  Get ready, this is deep friends!  "Should I stay with this guy?"  Then silence, the walls of this space, beating, alive....... still nothing...... then ...  a very clear, loud  NO, echoed through the cambers of my own heart!!! I nearly fall off the tiny chair, holy crap I thought I wasn't expecting that to happen.

  That's it!  That was the conversation I had with my higher Self, it was the truth, it was what I needed to do, it was the right thing to do and I knew it all along, I just wanted to make sure.

"Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first.  Ask questions, then feel the answer.  Learn to trust your heart."
    
So that day, I ended that relationship and stuck to my guns about that decision.  Matters of the heart are never easy for me but I know that I can tune into my heart for loving, truthful guidance at any time.  I have used that same technique so many times and I always know that whatever I am asking I will get a solid, clear answer.  Your heart never lies to you, ever!  But you need to be willing to go deep inside to get the answer, even if it's going to hurt. 

"Only do what your heart tells you to" Princess Diana

Again, I'm so full of gratitude for my yoga teachers, John Friend, Todd and Ann and spiritual guides I get goosebumps and my eyes well up with tears because they have all taught me that I don't need to go outside of myself to get to the truth, that my heart is the center of my being and it's from there that I have the strength to let go and move forward. 



"The human heart feels things the eyes can not see, and knows what the mind can't understand"  T.E Kalem

Married life and Vimarsha

Just over a week ago I was married in Punta Cana.  The setting was beautiful, white sand beach, turquoise ocean waters, picture perfect blue sky.  It was memorable and breathtaking.  The contrast of coming back to Canada is a bit tougher but I am slowly starting to settle in again.  We had planned the wedding for over a year and technically got married at city hall in November but we did not wear our wedding bands and there was no wedding dress or speeches or anything like that.  In fact it was a frigid day in London, Ontario.

All the prep, organizing and travel and it feels like that day went by so fast, because it did.  This is part of a strange time warp that occurs when your in love or having a great time.  Once I broke my leg snowboarding and it took 45 minutes for the ski patrol to get me down, well that was the longest 45 minutes of my life.  The Sanskrit word Kala, means that time is relative and the older I get the more I understand that.

When your a kid summers seem endless, now as a adult weeks whiz by one after another.  My teacher, John Friend talked about this in a workshop I took last November in Santa Fe.  He said that " when your consciousness knows itself, it is self aware, or when it looks back on itself (vimarsha),  it sees that there was a thought that occurred in time.  As you get older, we for me anyway, I know that my consciousness is expanding, through many modalities like yoga, meditation, pranayama and because of that my life is passing a faster speed.

I love to hear stories about couples that have been married for over 50 or 60 years, first of all I think that's madness and then I feel so blessed that my partner and I have the opportunity to grow closely and individually together for a very long time.  Since time is also related to breath, I love to remind myself to breath and be present with what is.  It seems to slow things down a little.  The more yoga I do, the better I feel, the more fun I have, the fun I have, the more I live fully.  It can explain the saying "time flies when your having fun."  Cuz, you betta I am having a blast consciously watching things unfold and get better and better in my life.

om, peace.

Meditation in New Mexico

I'm at the Toronto airport waiting for my flight to Sante Fe. I always get a bit nervous when I fly but I have found several ways to help me get through it with more ease. In 2003 I was taught a meditaiton that I used for 4 years with great benefits.

These days I meditate on Ganesha, the remover of obstacles. I have to tell you his works like magic for me. Meditation is a tool to help foucs the mind. Many people think that the purpose of mediation is to stop your thoughts. Ask anyone who meditates if that is possible and I think they would tell you that you can't do it.

Instead meditation can be used to redirect thoughts, for example using a mantra. I find the use of a mantra helps remind me of why I am meditating and what I am meditating on. Most cities have meditation groups which can really help you get started. I love to mediate with others since it feels so powerful. I am happy to sit quietly and use my mala beads, like right now in the airport or on the plane or perhaps ontop of a moutain of rose quartz in New Mexico.

If you are interested in following my journey I thank you and I will share as openly from my heart as I can.

May all being be happy, free and at peace,
om,
mindy