Fall in Love with Change

I love this time of year!  Today I turned the heat on in our home on account of the icicles forming from my dripping nose. I'm not a huge fan of the cold but I do love this time of the year. In Canada, the beautiful display of brilliantly coloured fall leaves signifies the end of the summer and a time of change, where the dark begins to overpower the light, the warm weather is replaced by crisp Autumn air.  What's going on with Mother Nature is going on inside of me and you!

Fall is a time of change and transitions, this is often a difficult time for many people too.  When things change we feel uncomfortable, maybe even scared.  As many great thinkers have declared the only thing we can really bank on is that everything will change.  It's our attitude toward change that we have some control over.

One of the biggest changes in my life has been in my relationships with people.  I have cut ties to old friends, made new friends and I'm constantly working on the most important relationship of all, the one I have with myself!

Being open to the flow of life and change is part of Anusara's first principle, called Open to Grace.  Grace is the revelatory power of the universe that shows us our true nature, consciousness and bliss.  This can be a challenge for me and many other people.  Our ability to be open and remain open when things are hard is not something we're born with, it's something we practice over and over again.

Changes in my life are still happening all the time and accepting that it's part of life and more importantly it will inevitably help me grow and expand is something I've picked up from Anusara Yoga.  Just last week I was able to witness and assist the Anusara Immersion in London with Todd Norian and Ann Greene.  These 5 days we full of beautiful and precious moments of grace, love, light, and transformation.

I went through the same process in 2007, when I did my immersion with these skillful and loving teachers.  I changed as a person and I haven't looked back since.  In fact I was so empowered during the immersion I was able to cultivate enough strength to end a long term relationship with someone I was supposed to marry.  Phew!

Fall is a perfect time to end or begin something.  How can you align yourself with nature today to better allow grace into your life? 

Your Heart has the Answer

Certain decisions are easy to make, like do you want to smoke, get high, jump off a bridge, some are harder, do you want end a relationship with a friend, or partner, quit your job? (maybe that is easy sometimes).  Once we make a decision then we have to learn to let go of our attachments and move on.  Sometimes the strings to those attachments are attached directly into your heart and so when you cut them there is heartache and discomfort. 

So how do we welcome the end of good things or great things? 

I'm closing my business down after almost 7 years and it will be hard to let it go since there is a strong attachment to it.  In fact ,I teetered in the beginning whether or not I should continue or close.  Was it the right time to make that decision, what will happen to my students, so many questions and things to contemplate, so not an easy decision to make. 

Then, like a smack in the face, I hear my yoga teacher saying "Open to Grace, soften, feel..."  And, instantly the fear dissolves and I receive a clear message that yes indeed this is a good thing.  Confirmation from my higher Self.  An overwhelming sense of gratitude fills my heart and soul.  Wow, I'm so thankful to be awake, so that I don't feel alone and I trust myself.  I'm so grateful to have found a yoga practice that has taught and prepared to make good decisions, welcome endings, step into the flow and be embraced by grace.

I want to share a technique that I learned many years ago that has worked for me every time I have to make a decision.  I guess you could call think of it as having an important conversation with your higher Self.  The first time I used it, it actually scared the crap out of myself because it was so clear and powerful.  There was no question in my mind whether or not I was getting the answer to my question.  Let me warn you before you attempt this technique you will get the truth, if you like it or not.

The first time I used this technique was because I meet this really great guy and only 2 days after we hit it off something crappy, stupid and self induced happened, he got a DUI charge.  As soon as he told me I broke it off right away, I didn't want to go there with him, however, some friends convinced me to give him a chance, that he just made a mistake, so I did.  The foreshadowing of what was to follow should be no surprise here. 

I gave him another chance and shortly after the chaos began!  I just left a 7 year long relationship and now I'm thinking what the hell, how did I get myself involved in all this chaos again.  The craziness went on for a few months as I was trying to sort through the love-at-first sight feelings and I was so pissed at the DUI, I wanted to ream this guy out!  But still I wasn't willing to welcome the ending so I hung on and duked it out, like a tough girl. 

One morning, I slipped into the bathtub, closed my eyes and took some deep breaths.  I got very still, quiet and I turned inside.  Once I was as relaxed as I could be, I imagined a tiny door on my heart.  I visualized myself knocking on this door that looked like the door Snow White knocked on when she meet the 7 dwarfs.  When the door opens I was welcomed by this warm, soft pink light into this magical space.  I could see a table and two chairs from the top of this tiny little spiral staircase.  I made my way down and sat at the table.  It felt like I was about to meet someone really important and I was.

There wasn't a figure or person that actually appeared to sit across from me but I knew it was time to present my question to my heart.  Get ready, this is deep friends!  "Should I stay with this guy?"  Then silence, the walls of this space, beating, alive....... still nothing...... then ...  a very clear, loud  NO, echoed through the cambers of my own heart!!! I nearly fall off the tiny chair, holy crap I thought I wasn't expecting that to happen.

  That's it!  That was the conversation I had with my higher Self, it was the truth, it was what I needed to do, it was the right thing to do and I knew it all along, I just wanted to make sure.

"Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first.  Ask questions, then feel the answer.  Learn to trust your heart."
    
So that day, I ended that relationship and stuck to my guns about that decision.  Matters of the heart are never easy for me but I know that I can tune into my heart for loving, truthful guidance at any time.  I have used that same technique so many times and I always know that whatever I am asking I will get a solid, clear answer.  Your heart never lies to you, ever!  But you need to be willing to go deep inside to get the answer, even if it's going to hurt. 

"Only do what your heart tells you to" Princess Diana

Again, I'm so full of gratitude for my yoga teachers, John Friend, Todd and Ann and spiritual guides I get goosebumps and my eyes well up with tears because they have all taught me that I don't need to go outside of myself to get to the truth, that my heart is the center of my being and it's from there that I have the strength to let go and move forward. 



"The human heart feels things the eyes can not see, and knows what the mind can't understand"  T.E Kalem

Spring Cleaning

This Spring I have the urge to rid more than just weeds from the garden. How many habits, friendships, jobs do you feel zap your of energy? What would you do to gain that energy back? The last few weeks I have had to make some hard decisions, decisions that will hurt and upset people around me. I quit two jobs last month and I already feel that the energy that was stagnant is churning again. Without our careful attention we may end up with a garden full of energy-draining weeds.
Even more difficult than leaving a job is cutting out friends. If our friendships or relationships are more work than what we feel we receive are they worth it? Again difficult questions with no easy solutions. Just because it is difficult we still have to honour and recognize our place in this world, in our lives, we are in the captain's seat, we are steering the ship, we are ultimately responsible.
Sometimes I feel just like Arjuna in the middle of the battlefield as described in the most popular yoga text, The Bhagavad Gita. In this story, Arujuna faces difficult decisions on right and wrong and asks for God's help. In the end he is told to do his Dharma, his righteous duty and do it well, that inaction is action. I am choosing to act on behalf of my heart. I hope you also find peace in the difficult decisions we all must make on this journey.